resident evil




This is hard.  I looked at my phone and typed those words but fought myself from sending you the message.  Of all people, I shouldn’t be uttering those words.  I’m the one leaving you.  I can’t help it though.  It pains me too. I can’t stop thinking about you. You don’t deserve this.  When did “Oh my god! You want to spend time with me! You want to love with me! What an amazing gift that is!” turn into “Oh my god! What a fool I am! You want to spend time with me and I want to leave you! You want love with me and I want to love with someone else! What an awful gift this is!”

Maybe I’m making a huge mistake.  Maybe I should try harder with you. Maybe it’s too late.  Maybe I’m just a bad person.

maybe [mey-bee]

adverb 1. perhaps; possibly:

noun 2.a possibility or uncertainty.

When will maybe finally become certainly, or definitely?

Someone call me. Tell me what I’m doing is right. Allow me to feel confident in at least this one thing. God, this is hard.